This is Who is Missing You the Most

Dammit.. another day, another week has passed .. 😔

& you feel so freakin’ guilty - shaming yourself for not making / taking the time to reach out and CONNECT.

Who are you missing most? Who is missing you the most?

Could it possibly be your SELF?

You’re losing yourself, losing connection with who you are and what brings you joy.

I beg you to take one small step towards that now before you dissolve and feel transparent – invisible.

I’ve been there. I’ve found myself so completely exhausted, drained and tapped out from over-giving, over-functioning, and people-pleasing, even when there was no expectation of it. What did that accomplish? Well, mostly burnout, resentment - feeling worthless and unappreciated. It’s a horrible place to be in.

Does that sound familiar? Are you burning the candle at both ends and trying to light the middle?

WTF woman???! Stop that insanity right now.

If you saw your best friend stuck like that, overwhelmed & struggling (which I am very sure you’ve witnessed – we’ve all done it..) what would your advice to her be?

It’s that advice, the care of a loving friend, concerned about another’s health & well-being, that you need to hear right now.

Is there any reason YOU don’t deserve the same level of concern for your own health & well-being?
Why would you ignore the warning signs of burnout in yourself and not follow the great advice you’d offer a friend? 

Can you do something that’s calling for you - something that will fill your soul? in a place or space that inspires and relaxes you?
😃Wouldn’t today be a good day for that?
Can you at least ✍️ pencil it in on your crowded calendar? Make it a priority? For tomorrow, at the very latest?

STOP RIGHT NOW and do a little emotional inventory .. I mean it.

How are you feeling about taking some time & space for yourself? Be honest. Is there a little panic? Are you terrified that everything will fall apart if you step away, take your focus away, even for just a bit? Truly?

Or is that just a story you’re telling yourself? 

I challenge you to closely examine your reasons for hesitating. Are they legit? Have they become habit? Are you hiding behind them? Could they be excuses more than actual hurdles?

Let’s look at it another way.
How could everyone, everything, including you, benefit from a refreshed, recharged you?

Hmm.. now that’s something to consider… you hear it all the time from all the places, but why not pause right now and give it a chance?

I’m talking directly to YOU! This isn’t just some mumbo-jumbo-feel-good-patronizing-rhetoric – please, please think of how important this is for you.

The 1 person you’re guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with is looking right back at you in the mirror. Show her some love. She misses you. She craves your company. She’s beautiful! She’s fun!

Invite her along for a walk, pour her a drink & slip into a hot bath, take a naughty novel & hide in the kid’s tree house they never use anymore – nobody will ever think to look for you there. Get creative. A nap counts too. Doodle with markers. Light a candle. Sing & dance while making dinner. Vacuum wearing only your sexiest undies – who the fuck cares what the snoopy neighbors think – this is your life to live in whatever way makes you smile & laugh & BE ALIVE!

Feeling awkward and nervous and uncomfortable about reconnecting with anyone after long periods is perfectly normal. Your neglected self is going to resist, but I bet you can convince her to join you.

You’ve gotten into hermit mode or you’re hoarding busyness or hiding behind your kid’s schedule, blaming work & appointments for why you’ve neglected a relationship. Nobody that matters will ever hold that against you. Read that again – nobody that matters will ever hold that against you. If they’re meant to be in your life, if they’re in your heart & on your mind, there is likely a reason for that. If they’re someone you enjoy spending time with, then they will be happy to connect with you, no matter how long it’s been. Don’t get hung up on the time & distance and allow it to create even more.

And my last point.. if you haven’t guessed already.. is that this exact same reasoning applies to your connection to your self too. Don’t you ever give up on reconnecting with that incredibly creative, fun, inquisitive, adventurous creature you still are, the one hiding under all the shame & guilt and exhaustion.

I’ll repeat my challenge to you – if you are struggling to reconnect with your self (and I’ll assume you are if you’ve read this far, that there’s something here you can relate to) then please examine your reasons for hesitating. And when you’ve detected some gaps in the stories you’re telling yourself, have shed some doubt on their validity, then think of even 1 small little thing you could do right away that would make you smile. What would you do for your best friend if she was feeling down? Do that for yourself.

This will snowball, so be prepared to let more happy in – once you start watching for it, more opportunities will appear. Expect it. Allow it. Invite it in. 

>Oh, and a word of caution about that nasty demon ‘guilt’ – it isn’t going to go away without a fight. But since you’ve been warned, you will be ready to stare it down, while politely telling it to f right off. We’ve got no time for that shit.

⚡️Want to increase your chances of succeeding at this? Share it with someone - this wish, this desire, this dream (including the guilt.. the hesitation.. the sneaky doubt that says you don’t deserve it or can’t allow it). Let someone know how much it would mean to you to take a step toward what calls you – even just one tiny step, even a glance in that direction, and speaking it out loud. If ppl don’t know it’s important to you, something you’d like to try, then how can they support you in this? Start small if you’re afraid of the reaction – including fear of your OWN reaction, especially your own reaction.

👯‍♀️Who are you going to connect with today? Let me know. Commit to it. 🙋🏼‍♀️

👉🏻As for me.. I’m in dire need of a nap 😴 and some time in the ☀️ sun. My head is so heavy and I keep pushing on. A headache pounding despite a couple Advil. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Why do I keep ignoring what my body is making very obvious.. ? Because I don’t always connect with it or listen. But today I’m taking my own advice. I’m learning right along with you. So, please share any ideas you have for self-care and reconnecting with self.

Meet you in the tree house lol!

xo Deena